We met a few days before my 17th birthday. In my wildest dreams I never could have imagined that at 17 I would fall in love with a boy and that would be it! No broken hearts, no messy break ups, no one night stands...just us. I never knew a love like ours existed. A love that made me feel so alive, connected, so sure and yet vulnerable.
Tonight we went down to the waterfront for dinner but to be honest, we almost didn't go. My plans for the day were derailed by a long nap that he felt necessary to take right smack dab in the middle of the day! The longer I waited downstairs for him to get up and moving, the more irritated I became. There was a nasty dialogue playing out in my mind...so that by the time he awoke, I didn't even want to talk to him. I went around the house ignoring him, washing dishes, folding laundry, watering the plants...anything to avoid talking to him. I went and sat on the edge of my bed, tears brimming and then I realized that I had a choice. I could continue to be angry or I could let it go, move on and alter our plans so that the whole day wasn't ruined. So, we decided on an early dinner...it was a silent car ride downtown to the waterfront but we went.
We went through the motions and ordered our drinks, an appetizer and our meals. At one point, I noticed his shoulders shudder and when I questioned him he told me he was trying to relax. I looked at his face then. 24 years...he has aged, there is gray around his temples now and lines around his eyes. But they are the same kind eyes that I have looked into for the past 30 years. They tell our story.
24 years ago we made vows to each other. We promised to try, to support, to love, to be gentle, and kind and true. We are doing it! Messing up, forgiving, patience, practice, terror, wonder, ache, intention, surrender, growth...Trying to do these things for all the right reasons...for us!
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